Open first, then decide

You are in a meeting and you actually already know what needs to happen. You have thought about it, you have a plan, and you just want to get through it. So you start straight with the solution. And then it gets stuck. Someone asks a question that you thought was answered a long time ago. Another person stays quiet, but you feel they are not on board. After an hour, you still do not have a decision.

That is very human, though. Our brain wants answers and solutions, and the faster the better. In a training on facilitating meetings, I therefore said that it actually does not work well. Anyone who wants to reach their goal too quickly builds up resistance. And then the road to that conclusion takes much longer.

Copy the prompt at the bottom of this article. With it, you prepare a meeting that opens first and only decides later.

The shape of a good conversation

There is a simple model for this, the participation diamond by Sam Kaner. You can easily look it up. Imagine a diamond shape that runs from left to right. First it opens, then it stays wide for a while, and at the end it closes again.

The first part is the divergent phase. You open the space and you explore. You ask for opinions, ideas and input from the people around the table. Sometimes this is preceded by a short presentation or briefing, but after that the intention is that you think together.

During that exploration, points float to the surface. Some are points of similarity, where everyone already agrees. Another part are points of difference, where you cannot yet figure it out. And the latter are actually the most interesting. I sometimes compare them to small jewels scattered everywhere that you have to pick up. You hold a meeting so that everyone understands and cooperates, even if the plan had been in one person's head for a long time.

Frequently asked questions

What is the participation diamond?

It is a model by Sam Kaner for group conversations. A meeting first opens to explore. Then it stays wide for a while, as you connect the points of similarity and difference. And at the end it closes towards conclusions and agreements.

Why should I not go straight to the solution?

Anyone who wants to get to their own conclusion too quickly builds up resistance in the others. People do not understand it, do not want it or do not trust it, and then deciding just takes longer.

How do I close a meeting properly?

Let the people themselves say who does what by when, and put that in the notes too. Close with a few closed questions, such as whether everyone agrees and whether there are any questions left.

Where do I practice this further?

In the training 'Facilitating: let people truly work together' you practice how to guide a group, from the opening to the agreements. You can find all dates at Workshops & Events.

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