You can steer a meeting, even if you are not leading it

Everyone is talking over each other. The topic shifts every five minutes. A lot is said and little is decided. And you sit there and think: this is another one of those talking shops. You are not the chair, so you keep quiet and wait for it to be over. Afterwards, no one knows what was actually agreed.

In a training course on meetings, I told the group that you can do more about that as a participant than you think. You do not have to lead the meeting to give it a different direction. Often, a few questions at the right time are enough.

Copy the questions at the bottom of this article. Then you have them to hand in your next meeting.

Questions that change the direction

When I am in a meeting like that, I notice that all sorts of things go back and forth. All interesting things, to be honest. But then I ask: how are we going to harvest that now? How do we make sure we take the important things with us?

After that, you can go further. You ask if anyone is taking minutes, and if not, who wants to do that. Or you ask what the conclusion is, and how we get there. Those are simple questions. But by asking them, you make it visible that the way of working is not optimal, without having to reprimand anyone.

A question also does not accuse anyone. You do not say that the meeting is going badly. You only ask where it is going. Everyone hates those talking shops, and yet everyone sits in them neatly every week. So I think most people are actually glad that someone asks. Only perhaps no one dared to be the first.

Frequently asked questions

Can I steer a meeting if I am not leading it?

You certainly can. By asking a few questions at the right time, you give the meeting a direction. You ask, for example, who is taking minutes, or what the conclusion is.

Is that not rude to the chair?

A question does not accuse anyone. You only ask where the meeting is going. Being assertive is simply asking for clarity or creating clarity.

What do I do if there is no formal leader?

Then you can offer to moderate the meeting for a moment. Make an overview together of what is already clear and what is still open.

Where can I practise this?

In the training courses on meetings and facilitating, you practise with questions, roles and working methods. Look at Workshops & Events.

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